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Last night finally did it.
I’ve spent the better part of the last year accumulating enough sports betting pain to fill Madison Square Garden, but after watching the Spurs blow a 29-point lead in Game 4 of the NBA Finals, I realized something:
I have a Mount Rushmore.
Before we begin, a quick disclaimer. This is not a pity party.
I’m up a good amount this year. A very good amount, actually. That’s not me complaining. That’s just me bragging.
That said, there is no universe in which I am ever on the right side of this type of nonsense.
If there’s a once-in-a-decade collapse, a statistically impossible cover swing, a miracle shot, a historic comeback or some completely unnecessary sequence of events that exists solely to ruin my evening, I can assure you I’m holding the losing ticket.
At some point, I’ve just had to accept who I am.
I’ve finished second or third place in my college fantasy football league eight different times.
Eight.
I’ve never won.
Apparently my superpower isn’t being a total loser. It’s finding the most creative way possible to lose.
Which brings us to this list.
4. Duke Moneyline (-180) vs. UConn
Duke was up 15 at halftime.
They led by as many as 19.
They still led by double digits with a little over six minutes remaining.
At that point, my moneyline ticket was less of a bet and more of a formality.
Then UConn remembered it was UConn.
The Huskies slowly chipped away at the lead before turning the final seconds into something out of a horror movie.
With Duke leading by two and holding the ball with seven seconds left, all they needed to do was survive one final possession.
Instead, Cayden Boozer threw an errant pass near half court. UConn forced a turnover, pushed the ball ahead and found freshman Braylon Mullins trailing the play.
Mullins launched a 35-footer.
Of course he made it.
Of course.
The shot went in with 0.4 seconds remaining and Duke somehow lost 73-72.
If you handed me a script before the game and told me Duke would lead by 19, still lead by double digits with six minutes left and have possession with a two-point lead in the final seconds, I would have assumed they won by 12.
Instead, I got introduced to a new recurring nightmare starring Braylon Mullins.
3. Rams +3.5 vs. Eagles
This one deserves recognition for creativity.
I had Rams +3.5.
Late in the fourth quarter, Los Angeles trailed Philadelphia 27-26 and lined up for a potential game-winning 44-yard field goal.
Let’s pause there.
At that moment, I was covering.
Even if the kick missed, I was covering.
The Rams were literally covering the spread during the field goal attempt.
Then Eagles defensive tackle Jordan Davis blocked the kick.
Then he picked it up.
Then a 330-pound defensive tackle returned it 61 yards for a touchdown as time expired.
The final score became 33-26.
My ticket exploded.
According to Next Gen Stats, Davis reached 18.59 miles per hour on the return, making him the fastest player over 330 pounds ever tracked.
Unfortunately, they do not track the speed at which a bettor’s soul leaves his body.
The Eagles also blocked another Rams field goal earlier in the fourth quarter because apparently one blocked kick wasn’t enough.
2. Spurs -3 vs. Knicks on New Year’s Eve
The purest bad beat on this list.
I had Spurs -3.
The Knicks trailed by five with seven seconds remaining.
New York launched a three.
Missed.
Spurs rebound.
Game over.
Right?
RIGHT?
Wrong.
Jalen Brunson somehow stole the ball from Keldon Johnson immediately after the rebound.
Then Brunson launched a ridiculous fading three-pointer while literally falling out of bounds.
Then Brunson made it.
Knicks lose by two.
I lose by one.
The final sequence changed absolutely nothing about who won the basketball game.
It changed everything about my bet.
I’ve watched this clip more times than I’d like to admit and I still don’t understand how it happened.
I genuinely believe if that exact scenario were replayed 1,000 times, I would cover 999 of them.
Unfortunately, we played the one.
To this day, if someone says “Happy New Year,” I immediately think about Keldon Johnson.
1. Spurs 40-1 to Win the NBA Finals
Last night is the reason this article exists.
The other three entries had already earned their place on the mountain.
Then the Spurs happened.
Back in November, I grabbed the Spurs at 40-1 to win the NBA Finals.
Forty to one.
The kind of ticket that sits in your account for months while you periodically check it and think, “Wait a minute…”
Then the playoffs happened.
Then the Spurs kept winning.
Then suddenly I found myself four wins away from cashing the biggest futures ticket I’ve ever had.
And then Game 4 happened.
The Spurs led by 29 points.
They led 81-52 in the third quarter.
They held the largest halftime lead ever by a road team in NBA Finals history.
And somehow they turned it into the largest comeback in NBA Finals history.
The Knicks won 107-106.
Instead of heading back to San Antonio tied 2-2, the Spurs are heading home down 3-1.
Some bad beats last a night.
Some last a week.
This one spent seven months earning my trust before ripping my heart out on national television.
The worst part?
I saw it coming.
During the second quarter, I texted one of my gambling group chats:
“They’ll come back. This isn’t sustainable.”
Turns out I was right.
Unfortunately, being right and being happy are apparently two different things.
The Spurs made 11 of their first 16 three-pointers.
They led by 25 at halftime.
They led by 29 in the third quarter.
Then they got outscored 58-30 the rest of the way.
OG Anunoby tipped in the game-winner with 1.2 seconds left and Madison Square Garden erupted.
Meanwhile, I sat there wondering whether sportsbooks offer grief counseling.
I also now expect De’Aaron Fox and Cayden Boozer to make occasional appearances in my nightmares.
Officially, the ticket is still alive.
Unofficially, I have already begun the grieving process.
I KNOW THE SERIES ISN’T OVER.
I KNOW THEY CAN STILL COME BACK.
I ALSO KNOW WHAT MY EYES JUST SAW.
That said, I believe in the reverse jinx.
I always have.
So congratulations to the New York Knicks on their 2026 NBA championship.
Final Thoughts
The thing about bad beats is that everyone remembers them.
Nobody remembers the routine winners.
Nobody remembers the smart handicap.
Nobody remembers the random Tuesday night cover that cashes without drama.
But a blocked field goal returned for a touchdown?
A 35-foot buzzer beater?
A 29-point NBA Finals collapse?
A game that was literally over until it wasn’t?
Those stay with you forever.
And yes, before anyone asks, I’ll still be betting tomorrow.
Because if eight fantasy football runner-up finishes haven’t taught me anything, it’s that eventually the gambling gods have to throw me a bone.
Right?
RIGHT?
Please don’t answer that.
